It’s already February and 2019 is turning out quite different. I haven’t been up for too much writing, but I wanted to say a few things about the New Year, and how things are going.
Over the last year I’ve been experiencing more frequent and intense chronic migraine. 2018 was filled with cancelled plans and dark rooms. I put my craft business on hiatus, and did a lot of reading. So as 2018 came to a close I wasn’t quite sure what the new year was going to look like.
I’m not a fan of ambiguity. I like there to be a plan. I’m not big into being organized, but I like to have a goal among the chaos. I have dozens of potential goals. Projects, events, classes, jobs, and travel I would do if my health was reliable enough to allow me to participate. But after I spent 2018 thinking big but feeling accomplished just treading water, I needed to give myself a break.
This year I’ve been practicing radical acceptance of my current limitations. This means no big plans, it means doing what I can for myself and my loved ones when I am able, and resting when I am not. I’ve been working on small projects and taking life a few hours at a time.
Two years ago, the idea that I didn’t have a plan for what was going to happen “next” would have cranked my anxiety up to 11. However, 2019 has given me a sense of calm that I’m not sure I’ve felt before. There are many contributing factors to this calmness, but really its the culmination of a few years hard work, regular EMDR, and even a bit of maturity.
So who knows what will happen in this space over the next year. I don’t.
I did renew the domain name for another year. So plenty of time to make it happen, whatever it may be.
I hope 2019 is finding you as well as possible, and maybe, like me, you can find a little bit of excitement in the unknown.