Anne Lamott has some advice about writing: “Butt in chair.” That’s what I’ve been thinking about the last few days as it has been a considerable amount of time since I have written anything. So I’m putting my butt in chair this evening, if only metaphorically, so I can share some of my thoughts with you.
I’m reclined in bed on my gray fuzzy pillow that we bought at Aldi’s of all places. I am also hoping that the cat won’t realize I have the laptop out and come investigate. I’ve had a migraine for 22 days. This is not the longest I’ve experienced, but it has been some of the most intense pain I have ever had. Also 22 days of not being able to enjoy sunshine, 22 days of getting nauseated at the drop of a hat, 22 days of missing Netflix
I’m ever thankful for Apple products and the ability to dim my screens to barely there levels. I have been away from social media mostly, but I need to check in occasionally with my friends and family. Also I have played over 1,000 hands of Blackjack, I’m getting pretty good but I doubt my skills and luck would transfer to real life money.
I have found that I can read books, the paper kind, without too much discomfort. However, if I am absorbing the information is still yet to be seen. Cognitively things are pretty rough, it’s hard to find the right words in conversations, and I should really stop driving.
It seems I have found myself engaged in books that have topics that enraged me. I suppose it’s good to have emotions about what I am learning, but I probably need to read something lighthearted STAT. I picked up Doing Harm by Maya Dusenberry from the library and it has snowballed as I’ve read about being sick, in pain, and female in America. Book reviews will be forthcoming when I can string more than 10 words together in one go.
Something else that has been occupying my time is starting a chronic pain support group. The nature of chronic pain, although by definition always present, is that it is unpredictable. We can often work through our pain and take care of our families, however we can also be sidelined without warning. In a culture that celebrates the over-scheduled, trying to find time for ourselves and feeling well enough to participate makes starting any new activity possible.
I initially scheduled and reserved a room for 3 meetings, but after no response or even inquiries for the first 2 I will be cancelling the 3rd meeting with plans to pick back up in the late summer. I have been too ill to do any of the publicizing that I have wanted to do. So I am giving myself a break and letting myself off the hook for now. Like I’m always saying “adjust accordingly.”
So this writing thing hasn’t gone so bad. If I recline so that I don’t have to use any muscles to hold my head up I can go at it a lot longer. I hope to write something with more substance soon, I have several topics in the pipeline. If not I will at least write a health update for posterity.
I hope things are well wherever you are at and you are taking some time to find joy today.